Exit
by yesulgakimchi
Summary: ...She never got to wear the ring... Dark one-shot on episode 10. Do not read if you don't like dark stories.


OHN'S POV

I never thought I would be the girl that cuts because of the dumbest reason. I promised myself that if I did, it would be because of a good reason. Perhaps the loss of a loved one or losing the desire to live is the acceptable reasons to do so? Is taking my life away worth it or a silly idea?

My time has come, I just know it.

Ever since Seung Jo left the house I have lost my appetite, thus, my weight has dropped dramatically but who cares. My well known happy-go-lucky spirit has faded in the background of the unwanted. No more genuine smiles do I give, they are more robotic-like now.

One by one the cuts decorate my arms, thighs and abdomen with a beautiful dark shade of red. The feeling of letting out my insecurities through the sharp blade of the knife is exotic, excruciating. And so I have done for the past few weeks. I have found a reason to do the unnamed among many.

Now that I think about it, why did I let Kyung Soo sunbae drag me to that restaurant? Why do I care whether he sees me or not? "Don't go, Ha NI." My subconscious told me as Sunbae told me where we were going. "You will not like what you see." It warned me but I did not listen. I should have listened but it was too late. I should have stayed home and let life go on without me.

My eyes have trained to see one person only, that is Baek Seung Jo, but they have not been trained to lock out anyone who stands close to him. My fingers ached to hold the sharp knife and clutch it hard against my skin as I saw Seung Jo and Hae Ra talking as though they were the only ones in the room. Perhaps they were talking about the clumsy Ha Ni who can't let go of a one-sided love? This though only added fuel to the burning desire in my fingers. I can't take this anymore I have to leave and never come back.

Kyung Soo sunbae called my name several times, surely making a show for everyone to see. But who cares.

Who cares if my last show will never be remembered?

Who cares if my grades are not up to Seung Jo's standards?

Who cares if Ha Ni is missing?

Who cares if she takes a trip from which she'll never come back?

Appa, eommoni and ahjussi sure will, but I've been more of a burden than anything else. They'll get over it.

Joo Ri and Go Min will find a new friend, a friends who does not cry every day. They'll be fine.

There's no way Seung Jo will feel the difference once I leave, why am I still here then?

Like a piece of art the red decorates my pale skin as I haste in cutting anything in sight. Deeper and deeper the blade goes.

My smile resembles that of a warrior who has finally defeated his fears and insecurities. My eyes close as I wait for the beloved light to take me.

Baek Seung Jo, you only said "goodbye" to me once, so shall I.

Unconsciousness, come take me…

BSJ's POV

I rushed to the hospital as soon as eommoni contacted me. I still can't believe what she told me. Should I yell at her for being so careless and give up on me in such a way? No, she should be the one doing that. I, Baek Seung Jo, gave up the girl that loved me for four years because of my arrogance and desire for independence. She should be the one reprimanding me.

Ha Ni is in the hospital…

Ha Ni could be gone at any moment…

But I can't let that happen…

I won't.

The area outside of her room feels cold, not even the smallest bit of hope can be sensed. Eommoni's tears soak my shirt as I let her cry, she's holding onto me as though she were a child who's been told his parents will never be back… and I feel like that too.

Flashbacks of Ha Ni's beautiful, sleepy eyes fill my mind as I see the nurse coming out of her room. She offers us a tentative smile until-

_Beeeeeeeeeeep…_

The long dreaded sound resembled a wild fire, a fire that will never go off. As I see her lifeless body laying there my memories of consant, yet unnoticeable bullying, rush back.

_"__What will you do with a body like that?"_

_"__I am a man, yet I am not attracted to you."_

_"__What's there to look at?"_

Lies! Lies! Lies!

I did want to touch her as the man I am. Many nights I could not sleep, I could only fantasize her small body against mine. Us, both, cuddling in the same bed, whispering sweet nothings to each other like a husband and wife.

More and more accusations are placed in front of me, but what can I do now? Bring back the girl who managed to captivate me with her strong spirit and unintentional charm?

The small ring that I've been carrying with me will never be placed where it belongs. Ha Ni will never get to walk down the aisle. Her almond-shaped eyes will not look at me every morning when I wake up. Ha Ni will never be my wife…

Out of everything I have accomplished in my life, this last goal was to be the best of them all…

…but it will never be.

OHN's POV

Halmeoni and eommoni have given me the warmest welcoming greeting. I am now with the two people who will always love me for who I am. They love the Oh Ha Ni whose nickname is Noah's snail. They love me for me.

The hollowed feeling is gone. The sadness, hurt and pain are gone.

I am the happy-go-lucky Oh Ha Ni.

I never thought I would be the girl whose answer to happiness depended on the sharp blade of a knife.

_Owari._


End file.
